I usually avoid such debates as this, because I feel that an individual's belief system is very private. It is no secret how deep my own faith and belief in God and His Son is. And I would like to share that belief here, tho belief in itself is hard to explain...
I was born Catholic, was baptized, recieved my First Communion, was Confirmed. As a child, I did not understand all that the Catholic Church taught, but of it that I did understand, made me fearful of God. At a very young age, I knew that this should not be. God is Love, why should I be afraid of love? My parents are very devout Catholics, my other brothers and my sister are devout Catholics, but me, I turned away from Catholicism. Where everything is sin, where guilt is the ruling force. That was not how I wanted to raise my children.
Yet, turning from the Catholic Church does not mean I turned from God. On the contrary, with the guilt gone, my faith blossomed. I see God everywhere. I see Him in my children's faces, my husband's face, the sky, the stars, the trees, the mountains, the ocean, the desert, the animals, the birds, the sun, the moon, the Earth. Without the Lord in my heart, I do not know where I would be. He is the Guiding Hand, the profound presence. He leads me from day to day in this life. My choices come from His direction. My heart and all that is me comes from Him. He made me. This is my belief.
And now we come to my brother. Stephen taught me more of God's love than any church could. From the moment I held my baby brother in my arms, at six years old, I knew I was holding a gift from God. I saw in my brother's tiny face the light of Heaven. There are no words that can express the intense joy I felt in that most precious of moments. Stephen qrew quietly, there was always a certian serenity, a peace about him. He never threw temper tantrums, hardly cried, he was passive, yet there was a strength of will about him that was undeniable He was a brilliant child, wise beyond his years, he entered Kindergarten reading at a 3rd grade level. His teachers marveled at his ability to be a natural peacemaker, other children gravitated to him, and his smile disarmed even the toughest and scariest of bullies.
Stephen began reading the Bible, children's version, when he was 5 years old. by the time he was 7, he could quote from the King Jame's Version. He claimed to talk to Jesus in his dreams from the time he was 4. At age 6 or so, he started keeping his journals. He spoke of seeing angels in the clouds and hearing them sing to him. He spoke of feeling the touch of their hands on his shoulders whenever he was about to be in danger, to hold him back. In fact, the day of his accident, when he was 13, he felt a hand trying to hold him back at the crosswalk, but the crossing guard insisted he start to cross. It was then that the drunk driver hit him. He told me many weeks afterwards that he would never resist the guiding hand of God again.
When he was older, he thought about becoming a minister. Like me, he had turned from Catholicism. "Jesus is not about guilt and sin, Jesus is the gift of love and sacrifice." But, he decided against it because he felt the Father wanted something else from him. So, he turned to the Arts. "The Arts show the beauty of God's creation's inner essence. Music, art, books, poetry are all interpretations of the soul." And so, Stephen lived his life surrounded by the beauty of such souls as Picasso, Van Goh, Monet, Bach, Beethoven, Shakespeare, Tolkien, Hemmingway, Micheangelo, De Vinci, Chaucer, Whiteman, Thoreau, Emerson, Frost, Dickenson, Dickens, Tennyson, Byron, Wolfe, Wilde, Handel, Mozart, Chopan...etc. And he lived his life in the light of God's love and God's word. Everything Stephen did, everything was in the Lord's name. I think that is seen in all the journal entries of his I have posted.
How could I be in the presence of someone as beautiful as my brother and not believe there is a God? There is just no way. Like his was, my life is an answer to the Lord's gift of that life. I strive to do what He would will me to do, I feel that all the directions I have gone in were guided by His Hand. Jesus is in my heart, my soul, my house, my everything.
Now, I do not say any of this to persuade others to believe as I do. I would never do that. Proving a belief is not something that can be done, in my opinion. Besides, I feel no need to prove to anyone there is a God. That realization must come from within. Who am I to say to someone that what they believe is wrong? Tho, I believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and God the Father's Son, I will not try to persuade my Jewish friend of this. For my friend's belief that He was not, is just as strong as my belief that He was. Tho, I believe that God the Father created Heaven and Earth, I will not try to convince my Athiest friend of that if he believes that we all formed from an atom that exploded. Tho, I believe that death is not actual death, but only a passing from this life to the next, I will not force that belief on a friend who feels that once a person dies then that is all there is...And tho I believe that it was God who lead me to Kevin's Watch so that I would post Stephen's journal entries to guide Shadow to our home, I will not try to prove it to my friend who believes that it was all just a grand coincidence...
I am not sure any of that made any sense at all, as I am prone to babble on, especially so early in the morning. Belief is hard to explain as words seem to be inadequate. I did try, however.
Peace *********
"And the glory of the world becomes less than it was."<i></i>
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