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DO-IT-YOURSELF-EPIC-FANTASY
With all the talk about Peter Jackson's film adaptation of "Lord of the Rings" generating discussion about epic fantasy, it seemed a shame more people haven't had the fun of creating their own. In an effort to help here is a simply formula:
Ready?
ONE: BAD GUYS
You will need a Dark Lord, someone of awesome magical might and evil against whom your heroes must struggle. Dark Lords require four things to make them really, really bad:
1. A Stronghold of Evil. This is traditionally a tower but can be nearly anything, from an island to a cave in the center of a labyrinth. Whatever its exact nature, this serves as both home and headquarters to the Dark Lord. It also is the final destination of the Quest (see below).
2. Lots of unattractive Slave Soldiers. They can be goblins, trolls, dwarves, mutants, zombies, flying monkees, etc. It doesn't really matter, so long as there are enough to make a vast and overwhelming army with which to threaten the free peoples of the world. Oh, and they have to be slaves because once the Dark Lord goes bye-bye they'll scatter like the wind.
3. Minions of Terrible Power. Kinda like Navy Seals, or high-priced lawyers. These are the big guns the Dark Lord unleashes against his top opponents. Any one of them would make a pretty scary Dark Lord in their own right, and the fact they tow the line for their boss makes him that much more impressive. Traditionally, such MTPs have a collective name that sounds fairly ominious. Yet their number should be limited--Nine Ringwraiths, Three Ravers, Eight Tiny Reindeer, etc.
4. Finally, the Dark Lord needs some kind of weakness which will be his doom. Perhaps its a piece of rock from his original home, poisonous to him for some reason. Or maybe he's just so vile and nasty that a sufficiently intense bit of good cheer will melt him. Whatever. And it pretty much needs to be tied up somehow with the Object of the Quest (see below). Exactly how is up to you.
Of course Dark Lords also need some kind of name, as impressive-sounding as possible. The letters "M" "S" "Z" and "W" for some reason make excellent choices to start off, with an ending like "on" or "oth" or "ath" often working best.
Titles of nobility are always good, but in a pinch "Lord" or "Master" are time-tested classics, especially if you stick some kind of descriptive bit at the end. "Master Zoth" is just not as impressive as "Master Zoth the Soul-Render." It just isn't. So make sure your bad guy is known as "Count So-And-So the Vicious" or "King Whatisname the Really Mean" or " Sir You-Know-Who the Desperately-In-Need-Of-Therapy."
TWO: HEROES
Of course opposing the Dark Lord will be a Band of Heroes, who must number at least five. You can have more but odds are they'll all fall into one of these categories anyway.
1. The Wizard Usually the one who puts the Band together, and often without consulting any of the members beforehand. Usually a tetchy, eccentric old man with the irritating habit of not telling people what they desperately need to know. (Note: Sometimes the Wizard has an Apprentice, and they nearly always have some kind of unresolved issues)
2. The Brooding Warrior. Nearly always with some kind of Big Secret in his past, often a past crime or failure, maybe a curse or vow to avenge some kind of terrible wrong. Most importantly, this character is pretty close to indestructible, and is intimately acquainted with many of the dangers the Band will face. Think Rambo meets Robin Hood and you probably have a basic idea what this character is like.
3. The Reluctant Everyman. Okay, this is person upon whom everything depends. Here is someone with no real training in what's needed nor expectation to need such. This isn't weakness, but a perfectly reasonable fact of the life they've been living up until the Wizard showed up. Precisely why this person needs to be the focus of the adventure involves some work--but in a pinch you can always say there's a prophecy that said so. Of course nobody thought to tell this person about said prophecy until now. That would be too easy.
4. The Bestest Friend Ever. Not only does the Everyman need someone to complain to, the Band in general needs a member who'll simply stick with them through thick and thin, come what may, and will do the nasty jobs no one else really wants to do--cook the food, activate the garbage disposal, be the butt of jokes. You get the idea. If you want to go all the way and make this character an actual dog, go right ahead. There is some precedent.
5. The Rogue With A Heart. Imagine someone who steal but only from those (he says) can afford it. A smooth talker who gets people into trouble but out of them just about as often. He'll sell you for the reward, but then break you out of jail. He's greedy, unethical and charming enough to talk everybody into schemes that have no chance whatsoever of working. This is the person the Band counts on and keeps counting on. Why, we're not sure, but its part of the formula. Of course, the Rogue need not be particularly criminal. He might just as easily be little more than a talented juvenile delinquent (who perhaps is the lone successful escapee from the Stronghold of Evil).
You can also use the optional "Lost Heir" plotline if you wish--where one of the Heroic Band turns out to be the last of a long line of kings (or something) which is a plot device of immense potential value. Almost any of the five can be this Lost Heir, except the Wizard.
THREE: THE OBJECT OF THE QUEST
What is any Epic Fantasy without a Quest? And to have a quest, you need an object of said quest! The possibilities are endless--perhaps you need to find the lamp where the Dark Lord has sealed the djinn whose powers he stole. Or maybe the Dark Lord's liver is hidden away in a box surrounded by dragons.
1. Ring. Overdone? Or a classic? You decide!
2. Sword. More than just pretty, it can be used to kill things.
3. Grail. This one's tricky, because you got figure out how drinking something is gonna really make that much of a difference.
4. Magical Stone or Jewel (you can get double duty with this by setting it in a ring or sword!)
5. Book of Spells--underused, in my opinion, because might not it contain the one spell needed to destroy the Dark Lord's power?
Whatever you decide on, this Object is somehow linked to the Dark Lord's one weakness, his Achilles' heel which is the only hope for the world to be anything other than a living hell. For some reason the Dark Lord doesn't possess it himself, or if he does has it guarded in a manner that proves inadequate. Gaining the Object, of course, is but half the Quest. The other half is using it.
FOUR: THE QUEST ITSELF
All quests end at the Dark Lord's Stronghold of Evil, but along the way there are time-honored and absolute requirements for the Band of Heroes. They fall into two categories: Places and Events.
Here are the PLACES your Heroic Band must visit:
--A strange and dangerous Forest.
--The ruins of a lost city.
--Some rural town where no one has a clue.
--A massive mountain.
--The castle where the rulers of the realm live.
--Some kind of spooky swamp (haunted mansion and/or hound optional).
Here are EVENTS that must happen to your Band on their quest:
--They must encounter at least one wandering monster that will try to eat/kill/lay eggs in the heroes.
--At least once they must be betrayed by local authorities, who are in cahoots (perhaps unknowingly) with the Dark Lord.
--One or more of the Band will be taken captive.
--Sooner or later some insurmountable obstacle will present itself, forcing the Band into a detour no one who knows the way wanted to take. Usually the reason for this reluctance is kept secret.
--Of course they will need to be harassed by the Minions of Terrible Power.
--Allies show up where they are least expected.
--Members of the Heroic Band will be accused a crime most of them did not commit.
FIVE: THE END OF THE STORY
It is a law of nature that all quests end at the Stronghold of Evil, where the Reluctant Everyman will face the Dark Lord and vanquish him, using the Object of the Quest to somehow activate the Dark Lord's fatal weakness. But before even that happens the Heroic Band must be split up, so that only one or at most two of the Heroes face the Dark Lord at the end. Traditionally, the second one is the Bestest Friend.
For some reason the Dark Lord always meets the Everyman personally, which certainly facilitates the story but otherwise represents something of a logical challenge. Exactly where the Minions of Terrible Power have gone off to, not to mention the Unattractive Slave Soldiers, may or may not get explained.
At story's end, the world becomes a kinder, gentler place. The Dark Lord is dead, or turned into a newt, or maybe dragged off by the equivalent of the local constabulary (probably muttering vows of revenge, like "I'd've gotten away with it if it weren't for those lousy kids!"). As a result the Heroic Band breaks up, with at least one or two going back to precisely where they'd come from, wherever that might be
Until sufficient sales justify a sequel, naturally. "GOD created Man in his own image. Man, being a gentleman, returned the courtesy." -Voltaire<i></i>
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