Ahira's Hangar

Because he always is surprised that Michigan English is so different from New Mexico English.

Quote:
You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN (Michigander) when.............

1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Ohio
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You drink pop and bake with soda.
23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
24. You know what a Yooper is.
25. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
26. You know that UP is a place, not a direction
27. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
28. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
29. You know the Lions will win on Thanksgiving, even though they suck.

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Our lives are the songs that sing the universe into existence.~David Zindell
<i></i>

Hey, I've got one of those too...

You know you’re South African when…

You realise after watching the news on TV that nothing happened in the rest of the world.

To alleviate congestion in post office queues, they bring in the innovative idea of selling scratch cards.

The fact that there is an election and people are standing in line waiting to vote is more important than the result of the election.

The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.

People would rather be killed in their beds than live in some country where they would have to get up and make it themselves.

A minibus taxi overtakes you, just to stop right in front of you.

When the road narrows, the guy to the rear of you has right of way.

You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.

A shop clerk makes you feel as if he/she is doing you a favour by letting you buy from their shop.

You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.

Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.

The police ask you if they should follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

You paint your car's registration number on the roof in large letters.

When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi advertisement.

The government has more opposition from themselves than from any opposition party.

A government minister is fired, and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the G-number-plated BMW.

A 45 year old engineer is replaced by a 25 year old who cannot write his own name.

The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.

Half the city pays for the other half's electricity and water supply.

A murderer gets a 2 year sentence, and a pirate cable viewer a 6 month sentence.

Crime actually DOES pay.

The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.

The government GIVES you a house, and you complain.

You can't even go on a business trip to Oz without somebody asking knowingly, "Oh, having a look around, are you? ..."

You attempt to get onto a freeway via an on-ramp and the guy approaching on the freeway deliberately speeds up to prevent you merging smoothly with the traffic.

There is more space between the sole of your foot and the accelerator pedal than between your rear bumper and the car behind you.

People would rather drive a flashy car with HUGE repayments and MASSIVE insurance than live in a decent house.

The post office stores letters instead of delivering them.

An employer has to pay his employees wages during a strike and cannot lock them out.

Cops are always able to spot you for parking without display while never able to see the minibus taxis parking in the middle of the road.

SABC 3 is SABC 2 after 18:30, only in KwaZulu-Natal, except on the weekend.

Petrol takes the biggest price jump in history, the banks increase their interest rates by two percent, and the Rand's value dives by 25%, but we are told that "we have just had the lowest inflation rate increase in 24 years".

You go to prison for murder, and instead of the death sentence, you get a nice box of condoms.

Pre-election promises change into "Rome wasn't built in a day".

The Minister of Housing didn't build a single house.

The Minister of Finance doesn't wear a tie.

The Minister-without-Portfolio makes more noise than all the portfolios put together, and then, when he's given a portfolio, you never hear from him again.

An ex-Minister of Tourism was the same person who said "One Settler, One Bullet".

You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.

You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume".

You stop at robots, not traffic lights.

None of the programs on the five available TV channels run on time.

You think a car's hazard lights mean, "F*** you, I'm stopping here."

Your standard response to any statement is, "Is it?" (Pronounced, "Izzit?")

You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.

You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.

The electricity goes off and you see it as a sign of The Collapse of Civilization (tm).

The electricity comes back on, and you check to see if there are any soccer or cricket games on TV - why else would ESCOM have fixed the electricity so quickly?

"Armed Response" is not an action, it's a description of every security company in the country.

You feel it is your democratic duty to vote.

You have a gear lock for your car.

You come out of a friend's house/shopping centre/office to find the gear lock worked and your car is still there, but your radio, tapes, jersey and every other removable thing you had in the car is gone, and you just sigh, shrug and go home.

You gawk at American tourists.

Someone mentions the sea, and your first thought is "Durban" although you wouldn't actually go there.

You've been up Table Mountain.

You've been to the Kruger National Park, but only as a child when your school arranged a tour.

You've never seen snow in real life.

You know what 'water restrictions' are.

Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanoes are only known to you through disaster movies, but you're intimately acquainted with floods and droughts.

You go to a New Year street party in Hillbrow and wake up in hospital.

You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State.

The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled.


--A
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A sense of the sardonic preserves a man from believing in his own pretensions. -The Sayings Of Maud'Dib<i></i>

You know you're from New Mexico when...

You buy salsa by the gallon.

Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.

Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".

Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".

You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.

You price-shop for tortillas.

You have an extra freezer just for green chile.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how well armed they are just by looking.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.

You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.

You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.

You can't control your car on wet pavement.

You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.

You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.

You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.

You iron your jeans to "dress up".

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other in the state pen.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

You know whether you want "red or green."

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.

You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You can order your Big Mac with green chile.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.

Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.



*****
Before, you are wise; after, you are wise. In between you are otherwise.
Fravashi saying (from the formularies of Osho the Fool) <i>Edited by: danlo60 at: 2/16/07 7:48 pm
</i>

LMAO!

--A ____________________________________

A sense of the sardonic preserves a man from believing in his own pretensions. -The Sayings Of Maud'Dib<i></i>

Here Danlo - a handy guide to Michigan pronunciation!



Most of these are spot on, by the way.

Duchess -- I *love* Vernors! But the "Yooper" stumped me....

I can't believe I dug this up on the Internet just now -- tho some of them would apply more to my kids than to me...

You Know You're From Virginia When...

Speed limits are just suggestions

You have at least two friends who have no idea what their relatives do...because it's "top secret" government work

Most of your senior class wend to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA

When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain

You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern," "central," or "southern" in front of it (See above.)

It's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.

You know yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through. A red light means 2 more can.

You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for.

Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are not, under any circumstances, a "southerner"

You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington, DC

You took a field trip to Williamsburg as a kid

You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak English

You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag

An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school

All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience

Crown Victoria = undercover cop

Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro.

They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new McMansions in its place

For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa

If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have three new names.

You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor

"Vacation" means spending a day at King's Dominion or Busch Gardens.

"Going to the River" means any stream with water.

You have never been served tea without the waitress asking "sweet or unsweetened?"

Your favorite past time is telling West Virginia jokes.

Anyone who can't trace his or her ancestry back to at least four generations in Virginia is an outsider.

"Going to the beach" means anywhere from Ocean City to Virginia Beach to Myrtle Beach.

You know you're from Florida when...

Everyone has a different accent
Local deer are smaller than your labrador
You can hear mosquitos coming from a mile away
You know what gator meat tastes like
It hits below 70; you're freezing
Golf Courses are placed every 100 yards
The Confederate flag is seen more often than the Florida and American flag, combined
You actually see someone from last nights episode of America's Most Wanted
You've been permanently blinded by fat men in speedos
Hurricane warnings are almost always ignored
Gators climb into your swimming pool for an afternoon dip
There are only two seasons - hot and hotter
There are more palm trees than any other types of trees
You're more scared of the freaks who live down the street than gators
You're officially sick of Disney
You own at least five pairs of flip flops =
You accidentally step on a palmetto bug barefoot in the middle of the night
At least one person from every state goes to your school or works with you
You know someone who's been struck by lightning
You laugh at attempts, by others, to make a TRUE Key Lime Pie
You've drank a flaming alligator
You've ever thought: "It's tourist season. why can't we shoot 'em?"
You've worked in the hospitality industry once and know Canadian tourists don't tip (no offense, MM)
Your backyard is sometimes a swamp
"Down South" means Key West.
"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.
You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip to Florida.
You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.
It's not "pop." It's "soda"
You've attended a hurricane party.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee , Okahumpka and Loxahatchee.
You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.
You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
You know what the "stingray shuffle" is and why it's important!
You could swim before you could read.
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
You dread the lovebug seasons.
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
You know why flamingos are pink.
When the northerners complain that 80 is 'so hot', you just stand there and smile.
You fell out of a tree trying to get the "good" mangoes at the top
You're state's flagship university has multiple national championship teams, in the same academic AND calendar year

...I can easily find more...

They are often guilty of adding unneeded "u"'s to words.

But as a general rule, we adore our neighbors across the River. Canadians are by and large good people. They love hockey, they are a friendly and polite bunch, their winters are even worse than ours, their major cities are unbelievably safe and clean compared to their US counterparts, and we have endless positive urban legends/myths about the lengths they will go to to avoid paying taxes. (And who could blame them? One one side of the bridge 6% sales tax. On the other 15%. Not much of a choice. )

Heh, thanks for the lexicon, Duchess. Where I grew up (Michiana Shores, IN), we called the folks from Chicago "summer people". And I know exactly what you mean about how SPECIAL they (think they) are.