Lions Jokes

Duchess of Malfi · **Posted:** Thu May 31, 2007 2:13 am

When you live in Detroit you gotta have a good sense of humor. :mrgreen:

Duchess of Malfi · **Posted:** Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:04 am

Some more:
(a few are duplicates and some are off color or contain profanities - if you are easily offended you are warned):

DETROIT LIONS JOKES

Q. What do Ford Field and the Detroit zoo have in common? A. The lions there never seem to do much.

Q. Why doesn’t Flint have a professional football team? A. Because then Detroit would want one.

Q. What’s the difference between Jon Kitna and a SCUD missile? A. One is horribly inaccurate and ineffective, and the other is a weapon of war.

Q. How good is the Lions offensive line? A. It’s so good that even their own backs can’t get through it.

Q. How do you keep a lion out of your yard? A. Paint goal lines on the border.

Q. What was Rod Marinelli upset when he lost the playbook? A. Because he hadn’t finished coloring it.

Q. What do the Iraqi army and Jon Kitna have in common? A. They both have lousy arms.

Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring? A. A thief!

Q. What’s the difference between Matt Millen and a NASCAR driver? A. A NASCAR driver knows something about drafting.

Q. How do the Detroit Lions know when they’ve lost a game? A. The opening kick-off is in the air.

Q. What do you call 47 players sitting around a television watching the Superbowl? A. The Detroit Lions.

Q. Why were the Detroit Lions masturbating in the huddle? A. The coach told them to pull themselves together.

Q. What do the Detroit Lions and the Taliban have in common? A. They both round people up into stadiums and torture them.

Q. What do the Detroit Lions & Billy Graham have in common? A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell "Jesus Christ”!

Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill? A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

Q. Why are the Detroit Lions always speeding? A. It's the only way they can get points.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ground hog with a lion? A. Six more weeks of bad football.

Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a 400 lb. slob at a singles bar? A. The 400-pounder has a better chance of scoring.

Q. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Superbowl? A. Matt Millen has no idea! -- and we may never know either!

Q. What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common? A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

Q. How can you tell when the Detroit Lions are going to run the football? A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes

Q. How do the Detroit Lions count to 10? A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.

Did you hear the Rolling Stones are playing at Ford Field? They're favored to beat the Lions by 2 touchdowns.

Matt Millen is walking down the street and sees an elderly woman struggling to carry her bags. He runs up to her and asks, "Lady, can you manage?" She glares at him and snaps, "Are you kidding? I don't want that job!"